Well, I did it!  I have made it through a whole week so far without my “can’t live without it” FaceBook.  I have to admit that I am a bit proud of myself (not too toot my own horn or anything) but my husband didn’t think I could last a whole day, never mind an entire week.

Today I want to write about perspective.  Some times we are so caught up in the day-to-day stresses and struggles that we forget just how blessed we are.  Over the past year it has been my goal to focus on the positives in any and every situation (no matter how grim) in hopes to change my overall perspective and be live more in the present.  There have certainly been many instances where this was rather difficult (especially in the beginning) but I must admit that over time it has become much easier to seek out the good and to really reflect on all the wonderful things that are happening, that have been happening in my life from the beginning.

It really is true that everything happens for a reason, God really does have this great and awesome plan for his children and while the less than pleasant times are happening (and feeling as if they last forever I could add) looking back, all of the crappy times I went through, brought me to this very moment and I wouldn’t change a bit of it!

Take, for instance; my moving from the city to a small town in the middle of grade 11.  It was certainly one of the more difficult times in my life and I wished so badly that we would just move back to the city.  Looking back, I am beyond grateful for it – I met the most loyal, loving and compassionate friend I have ever had.   I feel incredibly blessed to be able to say we are still really good friends – she is the best friend I have ever had and would be lost without her!

How about pushing through the hardest job I have ever had and meeting the love of my life?!!  My Nana got me said job and because I didn’t want to disappoint her, I persevered.  Again, something so difficult turned out to be so very rewarding (for lack of a better expression) in the end.  I am now happily married with two beautiful children to this amazing man I met at such a chaotic time in my life.

I guess what I am trying to say is this: sometimes a change in perspective can make a world of difference.  I assumed that giving up my coveted Facebook would be awful but I am finding more time for things I have been wanting to do but didn’t “have time” for!

Blessings xo

This was from September 4th, 2014 and for some reason it never posted and I can’t post it but was able to retrieve and copy and paste. 

Today my eldest daughter went to her second day of JK. This morning I am completely lost. I still have my youngest to care for and she certainly keeps me on my toes but I haven’t answered a thousand questions, haven’t heard “I’m hungry” an hour after breakfast or “Mommy, watch me, WATCH ME!” After dropping her off, I came home and turned the television on. Not because I wanted to watch it but because the house seemed eerily quiet without her voice, her sounds of play. I know that this ‘start of school’ business and the struggles that come with it (mostly for me I believe) are a certain ‘right of passage’ but that definitely doesn’t make it any easier. Sounds/questions that used to bother me/get on my nerves are now things I realize I absolutely took for granted. I am one of the more fortunate mothers (IMO) in that I have been able to stay home with my children (aside from 6 months after my first mat leave and working part time (evenings and weekends) before my second. I have been there to see almost all of her firsts… I know this may sound silly but I feel like a part of me is missing… I think the hardest part of all of this is that I finally felt like I was becoming the fun mommy I had always hoped to be. I suffered from PPD after my labour with her went the complete opposite of what I had planned for and expected (that’s another post in itself). But I guess what I am trying to say is that, I have been really working on being that fun, laid back sort of mom (still disciplining of course) that I always hoped/dreamed I would be. And I feel like I got ripped off, like we got gipped out of that. I know she is having a blast at school and I am entirely glad of it. I just feel kind of guilty, almost envious if you will; that I couldn’t provide that kind of environment for her until recently because of my own shortcomings. No one ever told me just how hard becoming a parent would be, how easily mistakes are made and not forgotten. My only hope for her, for me, for us; is that I can continue growing into that mother I always wanted to be so that when she comes home I will make those moments memorable. Cheers to blogging my “troubles” and being more of that Mom I want to!