I know that this is a very similar topic to my last post but I NEED to drive this home for myself. 

I have struggled for so long, food had stolen all joy from my life. I was beyond miserable, food consumed pretty well my every thought and more than that, my actions and reactions. I couldn’t focus on my blessings, my joy, my husband, children and of course anything else, really.  

My entire look on life was bitter.  Why couldn’t I be normal, why did I have to suffer this?  Why me, poor me, always in a pity party and unable to rise above it. 

This morning I made my husband and girls pancakes. I knew I would be making something different for myself.  You see, in the past I still would have done that but it would have been begrudgingly. I would have been so focussed and consumed on not being able to have it. 

Never mind that my stomach can’t handle gluten – I would have resented it – and been so focussed on the fact that I was ‘deprived’ instead of focussing on how wonderful it is to take care of my family and make them something they enjoy. I wouldn’t have heard the birds chirping, the sound of giggles from my girls at the table, the sounds coming from our budgie, I would have eaten my breakfast but not enjoyed it because it wasn’t what I really wanted…

This morning as I cooked and tidied the kitchen before sitting down to eat my own meal, I felt this peace and joy. That things have changed, that they are continuing to do so. Not only was I NOT disappointed that I couldn’t have pancakes, I was GRATEFUL that I was listening to my body!  I knew that I could have them because I’m not on a diet — this is a lifestyle change but I KNEW that I would immediately regretted my choice.  It would have lead to a terrible stomach ache. 

Instead, I sat down and enjoyed my meal, I felt happy, and dare I say it; proud.  But then I was thankful, you see I don’t often speak of it but I KNOW that this is largely attributed to prayer and the healing I have received.  I KNOW I have not done it on my own.  I know not everyone believes in God and I’m not here to force my belief system on anyone.  For me, though; my faith has gotten me through and continues to get me through MANY obstacles and trials and I am forever grateful. 

Oh how I wish I could properly convey the ‘feels’ I’m feeling, it’s beyond wonderful.  It’s incredible and I feel so blessed to be more aware, to have a better understanding. I feel enlightened when it comes to the food addiction I have suffered from for most of my life. Am I completely ‘cured’ you ask?  Oh no not at all – I still struggle, it’s hard some days, moments, minutes. BUT, I finally have hope because I know things CAN be different, that they are and that is THE.MOST.AMAZING feeling!  

Each day I have to make a choice and today I choose health!

Cheers to today!  Thanks for following xo

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