I know that this is a very similar topic to my last post but I NEED to drive this home for myself.
I have struggled for so long, food had stolen all joy from my life. I was beyond miserable, food consumed pretty well my every thought and more than that, my actions and reactions. I couldn’t focus on my blessings, my joy, my husband, children and of course anything else, really.
My entire look on life was bitter. Why couldn’t I be normal, why did I have to suffer this? Why me, poor me, always in a pity party and unable to rise above it.
This morning I made my husband and girls pancakes. I knew I would be making something different for myself. You see, in the past I still would have done that but it would have been begrudgingly. I would have been so focussed and consumed on not being able to have it.
Never mind that my stomach can’t handle gluten – I would have resented it – and been so focussed on the fact that I was ‘deprived’ instead of focussing on how wonderful it is to take care of my family and make them something they enjoy. I wouldn’t have heard the birds chirping, the sound of giggles from my girls at the table, the sounds coming from our budgie, I would have eaten my breakfast but not enjoyed it because it wasn’t what I really wanted…
This morning as I cooked and tidied the kitchen before sitting down to eat my own meal, I felt this peace and joy. That things have changed, that they are continuing to do so. Not only was I NOT disappointed that I couldn’t have pancakes, I was GRATEFUL that I was listening to my body! I knew that I could have them because I’m not on a diet — this is a lifestyle change but I KNEW that I would immediately regretted my choice. It would have lead to a terrible stomach ache.
Instead, I sat down and enjoyed my meal, I felt happy, and dare I say it; proud. But then I was thankful, you see I don’t often speak of it but I KNOW that this is largely attributed to prayer and the healing I have received. I KNOW I have not done it on my own. I know not everyone believes in God and I’m not here to force my belief system on anyone. For me, though; my faith has gotten me through and continues to get me through MANY obstacles and trials and I am forever grateful.
Oh how I wish I could properly convey the ‘feels’ I’m feeling, it’s beyond wonderful. It’s incredible and I feel so blessed to be more aware, to have a better understanding. I feel enlightened when it comes to the food addiction I have suffered from for most of my life. Am I completely ‘cured’ you ask? Oh no not at all – I still struggle, it’s hard some days, moments, minutes. BUT, I finally have hope because I know things CAN be different, that they are and that is THE.MOST.AMAZING feeling!
Each day I have to make a choice and today I choose health!
Cheers to today! Thanks for following xo