This month in my focus group we have decided to push weight loss (and all that comes with it) on the back burner so-to-speak if only, temporarily.
Some would call this decision insanity – they may argue that those are 'the pillars of success' when it comes to leading a healthier lifestyle. The short response to that claim would be, yes they are. But I'm not looking for short answers right now.
What I am doing, is asking my challengers (and myself for that matter) to dig deeper. I want all of us all to get to the root of our unhappiness – whether it be with self, weight, or something else altogether.

Speaking from personal experience (I have mentioned before that I am a recovering compulsive overeater) I will tell you that I HAVE been at "my goal weight" and I wasn't any happier for it. Not only did I reach it just before my youngest was born but I did so in such a way that I'm (quite frankly) lucky to be alive.
The obsession to be skinny [for me] was so great that I was willing to risk everything (including my own life to achieve it!)
What is even crazier is that once I got there, I didn't even see myself as being any different. I didn't love my body, my life, my self any more than before when I was at my heaviest. The only thing that had changed? My shallow perception that people would hate me less because I was no longer 'fat.'
I share this vulnerability because I am at the root, ashamed and embarrassed for ever even thinking this way! I would NEVER treat my friends with such an attitude or judgement. So why would I do it to myself? I, instead embrace and love them for who they are, because what matters most? WHO YOU ARE as a person! We are NOT our weight or size, those are merely numbers! I also share this because if I have been there then I am thinking I may not be the only one.

*Side note – I would also love to add that to me, you could be the most good looking person out there but if you have an ugly personality then your looks don't make a difference.

I digress, why is it that we treat ourselves so unfairly, so unjustly and with such self hatred sometimes?

I love this quote from Geneen Roth:

For some reason we are truly convinced that if we criticize ourselves, the criticism will lead to change. If we are harsh, we believe we will end up being kind. If we shame ourselves, we believe we end up loving ourselves. It has never been true, not for a moment, that shame leads to love. Only love leads to love.

It's the honest truth and speaks volumes! This month, we are digging deeper, getting to the root of our (for lack of a better term) "issues" because if you want lasting change you need to dig deeper than the surface and that's what weight is, that's what "appearance" is – the surface! I want to know why I punish myself with food, with negative self talk and sometimes even self hatred! I want to learn to love the skin I'm in RIGHT now, at this point of my journey RIGHT now!

I want to embrace myself, flaws and all and truly start living this life!

Thanks for following!

Advertisements